The Stand-up Philosopher

This Is Why I Pay So Little Attention To The News

Here's an RT hitpiece on Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity. I believe RT stands for "Russia Today". Apparently, RT interviewed Bill Ayers, a known former terrorist and close associate of our current President. O'Reilly attempted to "no-spin" the whole thing, which resulted in motion sickness for most of his viewers. Hannity also devoted 4 minutes of one of his programs to this "non-issue". 

I pay little attention to any of the mainstream media outlets. Considering how much time they spend on what amounts to hot air, I always wonder what they're not telling us. They seem to spend more time on celebrity affairs than they do on issues like the NAFTA Superhighway. 

As for Bill Ayers comments, I agreed with one thing. Get your news from places like The Daily Show and The Onion. During my teenage years, I went through a period of time when I got my news almost entirely from Mad Magazine. I was amazingly current with the issues. To this day, I still prefer to get my news from satire, which at least amuses me while I'm getting current.

Home Alone Parody

I know it's the day after Christmas, but the gift of humor is good all year. I came across this on Cracked. I thought it was funny. I was never a fan of Home Alone. OK, maybe I was the first time, but by the 10th, I didn't like it any more. Enjoy Home Alone 2009: Kevin's Revenge. 

Home Alone 2009: Kevin's Revenge -- powered by Cracked.com

Thou Shalt Not Steal: Cheesy Christian Merchandise

I don't buy any of this stuff myself. I don't have a use for it. I don't watch American Idol, and I don't have any interest in wearing a shirt bearing a Christianized message based on the logo for it. I do use an iPhone, but I'm not wearing an "iPray" hat. I don't wear hats anyway.

I came across a story in USA Today about how a $4.6 Billion industry has popped up around ripping off trademarked brands and turning them into Christianized logos. 

Some interesting quotes from the article (used under fair use guidelines):

Trademark attorney Michael G. Atkins of Seattle said legal parodies of commercial trademarks are protected under the First Amendment, but such religious products generally don't fall into that category.

"You could take Microsoft and change their logo around to make fun of Microsoft, and that would be legal," he said. "But I can't use the Microsoft logo to promote my Christian theme because there's no real connection there. That's illegal."

and

Abare, the church marketing consultant, just wishes Christians would pay more attention to the commandment "Thou shall not steal."

"The whole claim for Christians in general is that God is the source of all creativity," he said. "I think there's something to being original that will speak to people in a way that we don't have to copy."

Seriously, what exactly does it do for a witness to show Christianity to the world by wearing merchandise based on ripped-off brands? NOTE: the article states those "iPray" hats are properly licensed.

The Ultimate Windows 7 Review

I came across this on Facebook. A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay. It's hilarious. Note: the language is a little raw, but the humor is worth it. I needed a good laugh like this after I got home from work today.

Nook to Get Update This Week?

Engadget has a report that the Barnes & Noble nook is likely to get a software update this week. For those of you following my eBook reader series, this goes with what I've been saying. Most of the problems up to this point reported with nook are software related, and should be easily fixed with a software update.

As far as I know, Amazon hasn't released a software update for their Kindle. 

Steve Ballmer (Apparently) Fires Microsoft Employee For Not Being Excited Enough About Bing

I'm testing Typepad's new microblogging feature. OK, it's not that new, but I've never tried it.

Steve Ballmer at Microsoft apparently fired an employee for not being excited enough about Bing, Microsoft's latest attempt at a search engine that can't find anything.

http://mashable.com/2009/12/19/bing-youre-fired/

I have no enthusiasm for Bing. I think I tried it once, and it didn't return any useful results, so I went back to Google.

Have You Ever Bought Any Info Products? Were They Useful?

My interests change from time to time. Lately I've been reading a lot about writing. I want to learn how to write great content for my blog so people will want to read it. I also want to write other products. I've always wanted to write a book, and the thought of how easy it would be to write and publish an eBook really makes me wish I could think of a topic to write about that people would want to read.

I've come across a lot of landing pages for info products that sound really interesting. Many of them promise to teach me better writing skills, or ways to use my writing to earn money. I like that concept a lot.

The problem is, I'm kind of shy about dropping $35 or more on an info product. I want to know if they're any good. Obviously, any landing page worth its salt is fully of testimonials from real people about how great the product was for them.

But still, I hesitate.

So can you do me a favor? Have you bought any info products online? Can you leave me a comment, either here on my blog, or on Facebook about which one you bought and whether it was useful to you or not?

I'm thinking specifically of products that you might find from Bob Bly, or Men With Pens, or even Dan Miller. I know there are tons of others. I have John T. Reed's "How to Write, Publish, and Sell Your Own How To Book". If you've bought one of these info products, or know of another one, can you let me know?

Tell me which product, and if you found it useful or not. I don't mean entertaining, but useful. Did it give you realistic how-to information?

Is It Realistic To Be "Happy With What You Have"?

I met my wife when I was 25. Prior to that, I was that loser "nice guy" who complained about not being able to meet girls. When I had friends who complained about their wives or girlfriends, I'd tell them that they should be happy they have someone to complain about.

I think we all have an area of our lives that we're unhappy with, yet there is always somebody around to tell us that we should be happy with it. "I don't like my job" is answered by "Well, at least you have a job. You should be happy that you have a job".

On some levels, we should be content with what we have. But on other levels, doesn't some discontentment drive us on to better things? If you don't like your job, shouldn't that drive you to get a better one? If you don't like your neighborhood, shouldn't that drive you to move to a better one?

Is it really smart to stay in a job you don't like just because there are people who don't have jobs?

When I was a kid, my mom was a really bad cook. Yes, we talked about it after I grew up. She knew she wasn't very good at cooking, and my dad liked his food incredibly bland, which is what she cooked for. I like lots of flavor. When my mom cooked something that I couldn't eat, (seriously, I grew up thinking lasagna was horrible!) I'd be told "You should eat that. There are starving kids in Africa". I always suggested we send my mom's cooking to Africa and let me make a sandwich.

I'm not sure there are any hard and fast rules to govern the situations where you should be content with your situation and when you should strive for better. I think if you exercise wisdom and caution, you should be all right. If you don't like your car, but you have to place your family in financial peril to make the payments on a new one, then you should probably be content with your car. If you don't like your house, but you have to take up a sub-prime Adjustable Rate (Rape) Mortgage (ARM) to get a better one, then you should probably be content with what you have for now. If you don't like your spouse, I can't help you in this post, but I have come across some interesting thoughts on love that I might share in another if anybody will actually read it. It helped me a lot.

If you don't like your job, I'm all in favor of bettering yourself and getting a better job. I've done it a few times myself. There are ALWAYS jobs out there. Yes, even in the Great Depression there were jobs. 30% unemployment means 70% employment. You just have to stand out a little better to get a job in those situations, but they're out there.

I guess "be content with what you have" could function as a general guiding principle by which to live your life, but it shouldn't be considered a law of behavior.

I think I've rambled on enough and not given enough answers. What about you? What rules do you have for when you should be content and when you should strive to improve?

Critique This Blog, Please

I'd like to ask a favor. I've been blogging for 5 years now. I've seen other bloggers achieve varying levels of success. Except for the time Dan Lyons linked to me, I think I might have gotten a max of 500 views in a 1 month period, which I couldn't repeat the next month.

I enjoy writing. I've written close to 700 posts in 5 years. I've only been on Typepad for a year and a half, but I imported most of the content from my Blogger, MSN Spaces, and Wordpress blogs. But as much as I enjoy writing, I can't seem to write content that anybody actually wants to read.

Please, as a favor, can you poke around? What do I write well? What do I write poorly? What subjects or "niche" should I stick to? What should I avoid? Are my longer essays any good, or should I stick to shorter, snide commentaries about tech news?

If you could poke around at a few of my posts and let me know what you think, I'd appreciate the help in choosing a direction to go for 2010.

Thank you, and Merry Christmas.

Spam Fail

My submissions never seem to make it onto Failblog, so I figured I’d put this one here. I was going through my spam folder and I came across this. I’ve gotten some “interesting” spam in the past, but I can’t figure out how these words fit together. I can’t say that “Amway” makes me think of “sex”, and “sex” definitely doesn’t make me think of “Amway”.

I guess we have a rookie spammer. n00b!

Getting Things Done: Stuff You Don't Want To Deal With

I found a discussion on Linked-In about how to deal with the Getting Things Done productivity system when you can't do a Weekly Review. David Allen himself says that GTD doesn't work if you don't do the review. That's probably why it never worked for me. I've never been able to get myself to do the review.

David Allen weighed in on the discussion on Linked-In about how to handle things you don't want to deal with in a way that keeps them from cluttering your mind.

The WR is so necessary for most of us because our commitments don't go away - they just hide from the conscious mind; and if you don't create the windows to re-view them, they'll take more of your energy than they deserve. If you have a bunch of crap you don't want to decide about or deal with, just create a box with the label "Crap I Don't Want to Deal With", put all that stuff in there, and walk free (play with the baby, go to sleep, take Ma Jong lessons). You can avoid your life and still have Mind Like Water! You'd just better make sure you relook at what's in there as often you think you should, so you don't feel bad about not dealing with it.

That's a brilliant idea. I think I might have to do that for a few things. What about you? Do you have anything you could throw in a "Stuff I don't want to deal with" box?

Operation Cukoo to Oppose Operation Chokehold

I posted yesterday about a Fake Steve Jobs initiative to get iPhone users to consume lots of bandwidth on AT&T at 3 PM EST. AT&T calls it irresponsible. They would. I saw a post on The Unofficial Apple Weblog (TUAW) today about an opposing operation called "Operation Cukoo."

If I were drinking coffee at the time, the opening paragraph of the post would have made me spit the coffee all over my monitor:

In what sounds like the title of the worst Bruce Willis movie ever, a group of pro-AT&T Facebook users are up in arms about Operation Chokehold.

"A group of pro- AT&T Facebook users..." That's almost like saying "A group of Pro-IRS Facebook users formed to oppose an income tax protest.

I don't like AT&T. I also didn't necessarily not like AT&T until they started complaining about iPhone data usage. I checked my iPhone's status, and I've used a grand total of 2 GB worth of data since early April. That's WELL under the 5GB "unlimited" data per month I pay for.

It's hard to imagine being "pro-AT&T". AT&T isn't exactly our enemy, but they are a megalithic oligopoly publicly traded telecommunications company. They aren't exactly our friend.

And So It Begins: Covey Locks Books In Kindle Format

Apparently, Stephen Covey signed an exclusive agreement to lock his books down under the Amazon Kindle. No, this isn't the end of the world, even if you own another eBook reader. Remember, Kindle has applications for iPhone and PC. Mac and BlackBerry are coming soon.

The only thing I don't like about this, is that it will be hard to consolidate a library. Say I get a nook for Christmas. Then I start buying B&N books. I'll have a Kindle library and a nook library. It seems harder than it has to be.

I hope these distributors come to the realization that their money is made in selling content, not platforms. At least, I hope the real money is in content. If I ever get around to writing an eBook, I plan to make it as accessible as possible rather than lock it into one format.

Super Mario Bros.Wii: Generations of Fun

Somebody bought my kids the new Super Mario Bros. for the Wii. Joshua asked me to play with him on Sunday, and again yesterday after work.

I'm not much of a gamer. I get the feeling Joshua will be. He's always been good at figuring games out without much help. I don't game because I know my weaknesses and limitations. I know how much time I have to devote once I'm hooked on a game, and I don't have the time to spend on games right now. The last two games I seriously got into were Diablo 2 and The Simms (1st version).

Super Mario has changed, yet stayed the same. I found the controls to work the way I remembered them on Nintendo and Super Nintendo. There are some new special items like a helicopter suit.

I thought it was funny when Joshua told me that I'm good at this. I told him I played the original Super Mario Brothers, probably 20 years ago. I think it was about 87 or 88 when I got my first Nintendo along with Super Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt. I always wanted to shoot the dog when it laughed at me for missing a duck.

Joshua really like the Yoshies. I thought they were fun too.

My dad never played Super Mario with me, but in our case, we can have "generations of fun with it." It took me a long time to get him to pronounce it right though. He kept calling it "Maroh". He also didn't understand Mario's "Letsa go!" at first.

It's Time for Competition in iPhone Service

AT&T is complaining about iPhone data usage, and wants iPhone users to cut back on what they sold us as "unlimited" data. Fake Steve Jobs called for "Operation Chokehold", during which all US iPhone users who are on AT&T turn on a data intensive app and run it for 1 hour.

I've pretty much always been on AT&T. I bought my first cell phone in 2000, when I was on Cellular One. Cell One was bought by Cingular early in 2001. Christina and I left Cingular in 2003 for AT&T Wireless, only to be bought by Cingular 3 months later. In 2005, we switched to a Cingular contract to find Cingular bought by "The New AT&T" a few months later.

I've had some bad phones. I had 3 bad Windows Mobile phones in a row. The iPhone is by far the best phone I've ever had. Just about any problem I've had with the iPhone is related to AT&T's horrible network. If AT&T has such a problem with iPhone users, then let us unlock and let us out of our contracts if we so choose.

AT&T is like any large, megalithic oligopoly. It wants to make lots of money but provide at little service as it can get away with. They want us to pay large fees for "iPhone plans", but don't want us to use any data. Of course, as customers, we want to pay as little as possible and get as much service as we can. Surely there's got to be a middle ground.

Are you going to participate in Operation Chokehold? According to Fake Steve, it's 12 PM Pacific time, which makes it 3 PM Eastern. I'll be driving home from work. Maybe I could listen to Pandora on my drive.

Nook Has Been Rooted

Apparently, nook has been rooted. For those unfamiliar with the term, it means hacked. nook runs Google's Android phone operating system. I'm not sure which version. I think 1.5. iPhones are jailbroken, and Adroid devices are rooted. Like I said, all it means is they've been hacked.

What does this mean? For those who have to be on the cutting edge, it means that there may soon be applications to run on nook. The article even mentions the possibility of tethering thanks to the built-in 3G wireless.

Drive Safe...

Though I hardly ever stick to the topic, I chose the name "The Stand-up Philosopher" for this blog because I sometimes like to ask questions about the way the world works and the way the world is (or should be). I actually chose the title from a scene in Mel Brooks' "History of the World Part I", but I kind of like the idea of asking questions and provoking thought and challenging mindless conventional wisdom.

Some of my favorite questions so far have to do with should you really expect to get rich by winning the lottery, does watching TV really cause short attention spans, and is the Internet doing something to our brains besides making us think it's doing something to our brains.

I was going through my email recently. I sign up for a lot of email lists. Sometimes I just can't resist the "free report" being offered, or I think the newsletter will actually give me valuable information. I'm usually wrong, but often these free newsletters don't annoy me enough to bother unsubscribing. One really set off my "stand up philosopher" instincts though. The newsletter began with "I just wanted to remind you to drive safe this weekend" before launching into the marketing spiel for the guy's affiliate program. I deleted the email.

Why do we remind each other to drive safe upon parting? I've always wondered about that. Yes, I'm just as guilty as most of you at filling silence with words. It's the typical "I don't know what else to say but I can't let you leave without another parting comment, so I'll just say 'drive safe!'"

But really, does that add value to the relationship? Does it add value to the drive? Have you ever been in a situation in which you would stop in your tracks and grab the person in a bear hug and say something like "Thank you so much! I would have driven totally unsafe had you not reminded me to drive safe!"

Sometimes I wish we could some up with better social niceties to exchange than the ones we normally use.

I guess while we're on the subject of driving, let's address those emails our organizations like to send out around holidays reminding employees not to drink and drive. I've been around long enough to know that most people who drink and drive don't do it because a vice president of the company forgot to send out an email on Friday reminding them not to drink and drive. They also don't do it because NBC forgot to run a "The more you know" spot on Thursday.

I tend to avoid drinking and driving BECAUSE IT'S DANGEROUS AND ILLEGAL, not because the sub-vice President of administrative affairs forgot to send an email reminding me not to drink and drive.

What do you think? What social niceties could you use as a parting comment rather than "Drive safe!"?

More Fun With Google Suggestions: Auto Complete Me

As a follow-up to my post on Google suggestions, I discovered that there is an entire site dedicated to this: Auto Complete Me. Check it out.

Fake Steve: Conference Call with Randall Stephenson at AT&T

Fake Steve nails it. Here is a post on the Fake Steve Jobs blog about a fictional conference call with Randall Stephenson of AT&T about how iPhone users are using too much bandwidth and AT&T wants to find a way to give them (us) an incentive to use less.

For those of you concerned about such things, the language is a little raw so be warned. Overall, I thought it was hilarious. I wish the real Steve Jobs would tell AT&T the same thing.

And now here we are. Right here in your own backyard, an American company creates a brilliant phone, and that company hands it to you, and gives you an exclusive deal to carry it — and all you guys can do is complain about how much people want to use it. You, Randall Stephenson, and your lazy stupid company — you are the problem. You are what’s wrong with this country.

UPDATE: It has come to my attention that Randall Stephenson is also a fictional personality. Sorry, though I've been an AT&T customer for years, I honestly never cared enough to find out who AT&T's executives are. Fictional executive aside, I'd still say Fake Steve (Dan Lyons) is dead on.

I Played with nook

Last night, the teens at our church had free babysitting. Christina had a coupon for Olive Garden, so we went. We learned from previous years though. Normally, we drop the kids off at 6:30, then find every place is busy. We spend 3 hours driving around looking for a place to eat with less than a 2 hour wait, and end up at Pizza Hut or McDonald’s before getting the kids. This time, I dropped her off at Olive Garden, took the kids to church, and got back to Olive Garden just as she was being seated. Perfect timing!

After we finished dinner, we drove across the street to Barnes & Noble. I wanted to get a look at nook. Remember, B&N is calling it nook, not The Nook, so I’m trying to stick to the same convention in my writing. I know it violates a lot of rules of the English language.

My impressions were about what I expected. It felt pretty good to hold nook. The girl at the booth didn’t seem to know a lot. I heard her tell another customer that nook is the first reader to have 3G wireless. That’s wrong; Kindle had it from the start. She did show off the Google books. I didn’t get to do a lot with nook, because a friend I hadn’t seen in several years walked in so I had to break away and chase him down.

I haven’t actually used a Kindle yet, like I said in my last post. I don’t know anybody in “real life” who has one. What I’ve read about nook is accurate. This thing LAGS! I’d hit a button, and nothing would happen, so I’d hit it again, but then the original command finally happened, so it turned out I hit something else, and then I had no idea where I was. B&N needs to fix that fast. It will be intolerable to buy one.

The girl doing the demo mentioned that B&N is talking about distributing software updates directly to the device. That would be cool.

Also, if I tell my dad “Sure, get me nook for Christmas”, I won’t see it for a long time. They’re not shipping until February 1 now. That makes me want to ask for a Kindle and hope that Amazon gets a clue and issues a software update to bridge the gap with some of nook’s capabilities. It would be fairly simple to issue a software update. I wonder if I could contact Amazon and say “I’m a blogger and I have a few questions. I’m sure at least 2 people read my blog, and might base their buying decisions on your answers. Will you be updating Kindle’s capabilities through a software update? Will you support ePub standards?”

Is nook Really Dead on Arrival?

Techcrunch has a post stating that nook is the BlackBerry Storm of 2009. I'm not yet ready to decide I'm pulling for one device or the other, but as I've said in other posts, I don't necessarily agree with some criticism about nook. Every complaint mentioned in Techcrunch's post can easily be fixed with one software update. It's not that hard.

The question is, will Barnes & Noble issue said software update in a timely fashion? That's what I want to know. If B&N said they'd have an update out by the end of January, I'd probably want to run out and get one.

Tonight I'll be in the vicinity of the Deptford Barnes & Noble. If I can talk Christina into stopping in briefly, I might go in and try to play with the display unit. Sadly, although I follow the blogs of a lot of Kindle owners, I don't know anybody in "real life" with one, so I haven't had a chance to play with it either. My dad has a 1st generation Kindle, but he said it won't charge. He won't take any steps to look into warranty service either. He lives 2000 miles away in Texas anyway. Maybe I should tell him to send it to me and I'll look into getting it serviced.

nook: Does Barnes & Noble Hate It's Customers?

That's my take on the title of one blog post I read today. I also came across Mashable's compilation of nook reviews. I left nook uncapitalized because apparently that's how Barnes & Noble left it. 'sposed to be more informal that way yo.

I believe I could be getting an eBook reader for Christmas (or for that unmentionable solstice cultural observance for you socially autistic people who freak at the mention of Christmas). The question is, which one? Kindle has been around the longest. nook is the new one. I'm not considering Sony for several reasons, like the root kit debacle a few years ago. I just don't feel like Sony likes it's customers. Sony likes money. Everybody likes money, but Sony doesn't hide it as well. Anyway, Sony is out of my consideration at this point. That leaves me the Kindle and nook. For the record, I don't believe Amazon or Barnes & Noble gives off a vibe of hating customers. I personally like both businesses. Amazon makes it cheap and easy to buy books. Barnes & Nobles makes it comfortable. I still remember the days when you'd get yelled at in bookstores for opening a book and trying to get a feel for what's in it. "Either buy the book or leave!" you'd be told. There's none of that at Barnes & Noble. It's very comfortable and pressure free to browse around. You can sit on a couch and read a book, with coffee. I've taken refuge at the Deptford Barnes & Noble many times when Christina needed to shop in places I didn't want to go.

Back to the point: I have Kindle and Barnes & Noble's reader on my iPhone. About the only reason I want a reader is the ability to read some pdf ebooks I pick up. I'll basically download any eBook that's free, but then I never have time to read them. They're not always easy to get onto the iPhone. If I had a Kindle or nook, I could convert them easier to read on the go.

If I ask for the Kindle, I could possibly get it in time for Christmas. If I ask for nook, I won't see it until mid-January or later because it's seriously backordered.

I'm less worried about software glitches and shortcomings. Those can be fixed by the company if it chooses. nook apparently has some glitches, but those could be solved by a software update. Kindle doesn't support the ePub format, which again could be fixed with a software update.

When I look at reviews of the devices, I try to take that into account. If a reviewer says "Don't buy nook because it's buggy", realize that a software update can easily fix the problem, so it might not BE a problem by February. Of course, it's also possible but less likely that the software problems will never be fixed. I suspect they will be. Although it would be nice to see devices released with perfect software, it's getting less likely by the day. We seem to live in a perpetual beta culture. What I mean by that is software is often released to the public in a state that seems unready. Sometimes this refers to software that runs on a specific device like an iPhone or Kindle, and other times it deals with larger operating systems like Windows or software suites like Microsoft Office.

In some cases, I think there is a strong "rush to market" mentality, and the product has to be on the market before it can be ready. No matter how hard you try to avoid it, schedules do slip. Unforeseen events pop up, and you're left with a ship date that's harder to make than when you wrote the schedule two years ago.

In other cases, I think it's simpler. Companies can only do so much testing "in house". There is no way Barnes & Noble can conceive of every possible use for nook, and so glitches and shortcomings often pop up when users get their hands on it.

Which one should I ask for? Kindle or nook?

Albert Mohler's Kindle Report

I'm starting to wonder if I can carve out a niche for myself blogging about eBook readers and technologies. For some reason, it really excites me.

Albert Mohler, a prolific reader and thinker, posted to his blog his report on using the Amazon Kindle. I would consider this to be his conclusion:

Will the Kindle and its digital competitors replace the printed book? I think not. Indeed I hope not. I think most of us will reserve a special pride of place for printed books. Think not of replacement, but of supplement.

If you'd like a Kindle, you can purchase one below:

Dragon Dictation Free for the iPhone

I learned this morning that Dragon Dictation is free for the iPhone/iPod Touch for a limited time. I downloaded it and am eager to try it out.

If you'd like to be able to dictate text messages and tweets, point your App Store search feature to Dragon Dictation.

Maybe I'll dictate a blog post about how well it works.

Technologizer: Nook Review & Product Comparison With Amazon and Sony

I love it when I find that something has already been done for me. I mentioned that I was going to do some research on the nook and Sony Reader and post what I've found. Turns out Technologizer did it for me. If you're interested in eBook readers and want to know what the difference is between them, check out the link.

Do AT&T's Work For Them With Your iPhone: Mark The Spot (free app)

AT&T released an application for the iPhone called "Mark the Spot". Apparently, if you drop a call or can't connect to the data network, you can bring up this application and "mark the spot" so AT&T knows where it's weaknesses are.

While I appreciate the openness and the apparent attempt to address network issues, I can't say this does much to address AT&T's image. I have a Verizon BlackBerry issued from work, and I can't say it's performance is much more impressive than my AT&T iPhone. But, Verizon spent all those years and all that money on it's "Can you hear me now?" campaign, and built an image as a telco that walked it's territory to identify weak areas. I know, the guy is an actor. His cell phone was a prop; probably a display model. Still, it gave people the perception that Verizon checked it's network.

Mark the Spot gives me the perception that AT&T is finally willing to entertain the notion that it's customers are actually having problems with it's network. Rather than using engineers, they're just going to make the customers do the work.

AT&T, when you drop my calls or my 3G network, the last thing I feel like doing is bringing up another app and doing your job for you. But nice try.

Comixed: The De-evolution of Vampire Machismo

Another site I follow, Comixed, put together a hilarious morphing of pop-culture vampires from what used to be “manly men” to the effeminate brood we have today. Enjoy:

http://comixed.com/2009/12/02/comics-comic-strip-yonkoma-the-de-evolution-of-vampire-machismo/

Attention to Detail: It Could Save Your Life

I had a brief exchange on Facebook with a friend and former shipmate of mine. It brought back memories. During the course of the discussion, he sent me a link to a write up about a fire that occurred on the ship we served together on, the U.S.S. White Plains (AFS-4).

The fire occurred in 1989. I served on the ship from 94-95, and was part of the decommissioning crew.
As part of the fire, 6 people died. The article says 161 were injured.

In boot camp, they beat the phrase "attention to detail" into our heads. I have no idea how many of us came away from that experience committed to a life of "attention to detail". I can tell you that most of my failures came from a lack of attention to detail. 

The reason for the mainspace fire on the White Plains was a lack of attention to detail. It also came from not following standard procedures. There is more to the story than the article says, although it captures the important details. For some reason, we had the JAG investigation report in the CIWS shop where I worked. I read it. It was fascinating reading, and even involved an officer physically threatening men who refused to throw defective parts over the side of the ship to cover up the failure. I believe the report said that officer was convicted and served time in Leavenworth. The Captain and Chief Engineer were relieved.

One thing that always threw me for a loop was that while I was onboard the ship, we drilled that fire over and over and over again. OK, I was only involved in that my space lost air conditioning for the several hours it took to get the engineering plant back online, but in the South Pacific, that's torture. Seriously, it's hot! A gas turbine engine starts up about as fast as a car, but it takes hours to get a steam plant back online. When the White Plains drilled that mainspace fire, they'd kill the plant, let the ship switch to emergency diesel, and run through that fire scenario. Part of the problem during the original fire is that the ship only drilled one scenario, and as good as the fire party and engineers were, they weren't trained for anything but the one scenario they did. I always wondered why we drilled that one fire so much. I always figured if the ship had another mainspace fire, it wouldn't be a duplicate of the '89 fire. That's the military for you though. It seems like rather than preparing for the future, you spend more time not repeating the mistakes of the past.

After leaving the White Plains, I spent 3 years on the U.S.S. Oldendorf (DD-972), a Spruance Class destroyer. I was onboard that ship from 95-98 when I left the Navy. It was during a time when the Navy was transitioning from a Cold War mentality to a Persian Gulf mentality. I watched senior officers and enlisted men who spent entire careers preparing to fight the Russians try to switch mentalities to a Middle Eastern conflict. It was an interesting time.

This Commercial Actually Makes Me Want a Droid

If You Want To Win Me Over With An Unsolicited Sales Call...

...try pronouncing my name right, idiots.

Unsolicited sales calls bug the heck out of me anyway. I wish it were possible to outlaw them. So late this morning, I'm at work, and my phone rings. I don't recognize the number, but I answer anyway. My wife refuses to answer any number she doesn't recognize. I'll normally pick up the phone.

I hear some noise in the background. I say "Hello". More talking in the background. I say "Hello" again.

"Mr. Muller?" a stereotypical New York City accent asks me.

This sets me off immediately. I don't know a single person who EVER mispronounced Ferris Bueller's name. Put an "M" in front of it, and suddenly every idiot who gets my phone number can't pronounce it.

So, in a very annoyed voice, I say "It's Mueller!" Seriously, people, how hard is it? If I wanted to be Mr. Muller, I'd get the e dropped. If I wanted to be Mr. Maller, or Miller, I'd get it changed. But it seems like every buttplug idiot telemarketer is incapable of looking at the spelling of my name and getting it right. Seriously, how hard can it be?

So this New Yorker apologizes and tries to sell me a refinance on my mortgage.

Look, I don't work in sales for a lot of good reasons.

If YOU work in sales, seriously, the least thing you can do is TRY to correctly pronounce the name of the person you want to sell to. If you're not willing to do that much, then get a job cooking hamburgers or digging ditches or something.

You're not likely to get a sale if you've already got your prospective customer pissed off before you even confirm that you're talking to the right person.

Here's a VERY simple technique that you can use if you're actually serious about making a living in cold contact sales. Try this: "Good afternoon, Mr. (or Mrs., Ms, etc), I'm sorry, I don't want to be rude, but I'm unsure how to pronounce your name. How do you say it?" Then thank them, and start your sales pitch. I've never gotten angry with anybody who asked me how my name was pronounced (like it's that hard) rather than just plowing through it like a moron.