The Stand-up Philosopher

Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody

It's Thanksgiving again. In the grand tradition of what this day is supposed to be about, here are some of the things I'm thankful for.

• Perhaps this shouldn't go first on the list, but right now it's at the forefront of my mind. I'm thankful to work for a company that, even though I got fired from my contract last week, hasn't cut me loose. They can't promise anything, but they're working on finding another spot for me and providing me with work to do in the meantime. I'm also being provided with mentoring in the very thing that I believe got me kicked off that contract in the first place. No company is perfect, but I'm thankful to work for one with a heart.
• I'm thankful for my family. Christina is busy getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. She's incredibly gifted at this. Anytime we have a big dinner of guests coming over, she just knows how much to make and of what dishes. I've never seen us run out of anything for big dinners or parties. She makes it look easy.
• I'm thankful for my boys. I often joke that the worst parts of me were split between the two of them. Joshua has my "It's going to be my way or everybody else will be miserable" attitude. Caleb has my insatiable "I need to know everything and I need to know it right now" mentality. But they're both my boys and they're both gifted in their own ways, and they make life fun and interesting.
• I'm thankful for my friends, my church, for my books, for my iPhone, for my computers, my car, my house, bed, and I could go on and on. Perhaps I will, but in a private format that's not likely to bore readers.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Buying One Song...

Sometimes I wish I had musical talents. Or I wish I had a Mac and Garage Band. Or I wish somebody would come out with a Garage Band like product for the PC. Don't tell me Audacity. It's not the same.

I found out about this $3 of free music promotion by Amazon today. When I got home, I decided to get some songs. I had a song that I'd been wanting for a while, so I bought it. It was $1.29. Fine, it was free. Then I went looking for another song. For some reason, lately I've been wanting "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God." I don't know why. My church never sings it. I'm curious if any of our song leaders have heard of it. In any case, a podcast I listen to occasionally leads in with it. I figured "how hard could it be to find a version of 'A Mighty Fortress" that I'd like?"

A lot harder than I thought. Amazon returned hundreds of songs under my search. I started sampling them. I quickly realized that I didn't want a version of the song with pipe organs or a congregation singing in a very-bad-for-sound auditorium/sanctuary/whatever they call it. I also quickly decided that I don't want an instrumental version. I just want one good singer with a good instrumental mix, that doesn't include pipe organs or a single guitar. Turns out, my want was impossible. I did find a couple of versions of the song that made me with Trans Siberian Orchestra would tackle it. 

I hate some Christian paradigms. "A Mighty Fortress" is a great song. It's a powerful anthem. Why can't anybody put together a good version of it? Just  because it's 500 years old doesn't mean it has to be sung with pipe organs and sound like a death march. I'm sure Luther never intended it that way.

Is the "Open Door Policy" Really a Lie?

It seems like every manager I've ever worked for claims to have an "open door policy". They always introduce themselves that way. It's kind of like Dr. Kelso in the first episode of Scrubs. I've always been curious how many of them actually mean it. I don't mean direct supervisor. Most of them are forced to deal with you. I mean the levels above the direct supervisor.

Have you ever taken advantage of a manager who claimed to have the "open door policy"? Was he or she actually telling the truth, or was it a complete load of bovine fecal matter, equivalent to the Presidential candidate who says "I WILL NOT raise taxes"?

If you are a manager, do you claim the "open door policy"? Do you mean it?

What would be wrong with just being honest and saying "Leave me the heck alone! I'm not interested in your problems. If you bother me with a problem between you and your direct supervisor, you're fired"?

I'm just curious.

Update On Thursday

On Thursday night, I posted about how I was fired. It had never happened to me, and I'm still processing it. Fortunately, for the time being, fired in my case doesn't mean unemployed, although that is a possibility. As a contractor, I'm employed by another company. I was working embedded with my customer, and like I said, one of my tasks for some reason I never could produce at a level that met expectations. As I was the only person working on that task, I'm not sure how they expect not to fall behind while somebody else catches up since I was just starting to figure out what I was doing. I finally got the last few pieces in place, and in two or three weeks I would have been "there", but "there" was way past several deadlines. I had several other responsibilities, and it seemed like I was doing good work on those, but it wasn't enough. I guess I was assigned to that task because I'd done similar work in my previous job, but nowhere near at the level that was expected of me. I don't think anybody else on the team can do that work right off the line, so I'm not sure what they expect to do. I guess I hope getting rid of me solved all their problems. Other groups on that program contracted that kind of work out. We were the only group doing it in-house, and I'm not entirely convinced I was being supervised by people with much experience in that line of work. Like, they don't know what they don't know. It's in the past now.

I went into my parent company yesterday (Friday). I expected to be on overhead until somebody had time to review other listings and see what other positions I might fit in. I figured I'd go through the benefit information for open enrollment that I haven't gotten to because I'd been trying to meet yet another deadline on that task. Turns out a major project with a Monday deadline was underway, so when a team member saw me over there, he pulled me onto it. I at first protested, saying "I just got fired from my contract for my work on that kind of project", but they needed me enough. It turns out that I have the proper mentorship on this team, and within 2-3 hours I was off the ground. Why I didn't ask that group for help months ago will probably go down in my memoirs as one of my greatest mistakes. The project is big enough and the deadline close enough that I ended up with some overtime last night and permission to work on the project from home this weekend to get it finished up by Monday. Considering how close I could be to unemployed, I'm grateful for the overtime and the chance to redeem myself on this kind of work.

In the short term at least, things look good. I've seen my company go to great lengths for other people who ended up off their contracts. They may absorb some overheard on me for the short term, but if the project for Monday gets finished up, more work like that could come in and they might need me for that.

So, I screwed up pretty bad, but for now things look hopeful.

My Services Are No Longer Required

It happens to the best of us, and the worst of us too. I was told that my services are no longer required this afternoon. I'm off the contract.

How did it happen? I'm sure there's another side to the story. My analysis is that I was placed on a task that ended up being a little more difficult than I expected. I failed badly. I kept at it, and learned, and thought I was doing better, but somehow no matter how hard I worked, I could not meet expectations. I'm not entirely convinced that I was being directed by people with very much experience in this task. I was able to get help from people who had experience, but it was too late. Looking back, some of the direction I was given sent me in the wrong direction.

Somehow, rather than get somebody else on this task and put me on something I'm good at, I was allowed to spin my wheels on this task for months. I thought I was finally getting the hang of it. I put in a 12 hour day trying to finish up one part, then found out the next day that it wasn't good enough. I found out today that I was off the contract.

There is a good spot. Most contractors who are fired get fired while off site. I was politely fired in the conference room and was able to clean out my cubicle. I was able to get all my stuff out, as well as any files that I need for my own records. I also spent the time to clean up the dust. That cubicle was the dustiest place I've ever worked. I tried to leave it clean for the next occupant.

So what's next? I work for a really good company. They'll try to find another place to put me. They can't promise anything, but I've seen them go to great lengths for people in my situation. I'll go to my company's offices tomorrow and they'll try to find me something else.

In the meantime, if you're aware of anybody who needs an engineer or IT professional, let me know. Seriously people, you don't want me to have nothing else to do with my time but post to Twitter and Facebook.

I'm going to try to keep a good attitude. I could get caught up in whining and complaining, but I doubt it will help. I've never actually been fired before. I've gotten fed up with jobs and gotten new jobs, but I've NEVER been fired before. OK, once, I got fired from a paper route when I was 14. Some people report it's the best thing that's ever happened to them. No doubt, comfort zones are antithetical to success.

So, if you know of any opportunities (no, I'm not interested in network marketing type stuff) let me know.

Can We Stop Comparing Congress to Drunken Sailors, Please?

I'm starting to get tired of references to Congress that make comparisons to drunken sailors. Having been a drunken sailor at one point, I can assure you that we were NOTHING like Congress.

A drunken sailor blows his own money, and maybe some money of one or a few of his shipmates. Then he runs out and is stuck until either payday or when another drunken sailor needs somebody else to drink with. Congress spends OUR money with no evidence of conscious thought. Of course, if you think that's bad, most voters complain endlessly about Congress, but keep voting the same people back into office. Who is the fool here? (Hint, the voters).

Fun With Google Suggestions

I got this idea from Fail Blog. When you use Google, sometimes Google gives you helpful suggestions to complete your search. Sometimes they are incredibly helpful. Other times they are totally off the wall. For instance, typing “why is” into the Google search box produced the following suggestions:

I don’t even want to know why Google’s algorithm thinks it might be helpful to suggest “why is there a dead pakistani on my couch”. Does that come up a lot?

Just for fun, I tried various other combinations. About the most humorous of the other combinations I tried was “why did”:

 

Do people really ask “Google” “Why did I get married?” I’ve asked some rhetorical questions out of frustration before, but I can’t say I’ve tried them on Google. Maybe I should…

If you’ve tried other searches on Google that turned up something hilarious, let me know in the comments.

Another Great Quip From Fake Steve Jobs

Apparently, somebody at Microsoft who had nothing to actually do with Windows 7 made some comment that they tried to copy the Mac OS. He apparently got some retaliation. OK, whatever. That barely made me look up. But, Fake Steve Jobs (Dan Lyons) took this one on, and cracked me up:

And then the Borg rolls out this old chestnut: “Over nine out of ten computer users choose Windows.”

Now, come on. Windows is like herpes. Or genital warts. Nobody chooses Windows. People get Windows. It comes preloaded on their crap machine, and they’re stuck with it.

No Need To Pay For Security on Your PC. Lifehaker Says MS Security Essentials Are Enough

Most of my non-geek friends like to ask me about security. I tell them that unless they look at a lot of porn or spend time downloading pirated software, then they don’t need to worry as much. It’s not that big a deal.

Microsoft once had Windows Live OneCare. I hated the beta version, and installed it after less than 15 minutes. As it matured, I found it to be very useful, and I would recommend it to friends who asked what I though. I’ve long since had it with Norton and McAfee, although I’ve heard since they days that they gave me a bad taste that they’ve optimized their products so they don’t require as much time and attention, as well as system resources. I’m still not ready to pay for either again.

While Windows Live OneCare was a paid product, Microsoft now has Microsoft Security Essentials, which is free. Lifehaker says it works well enough that Windows users shouldn’t have to shell out money for other security products.

Kindle For PC Is Here! And More Good News

Amazon’s Kindle for PC was released today. Maybe it was last night. I’ve already installed it. I’ve had Kindle on my iPhone since I first leaned about it. I’ve only bought one book to date, but now that I can make notes and highlight, I’ll probably buy more. I like to read, and being able to carry my books with me is a great thing.

The post on Amazon’s blog also includes this at the end:

Stay tuned, as more apps are on the way, including Kindle for Mac, and Kindle for Blackberry.

Sweet, Kindle for BlackBerry. Between my iPhone and BlackBerry, and now my computers, the only excuse I’ll have left for not reading will be “because I don’t want to”.

If anyone from Amazon is reading this, can I have an @kindle.com email address without buying the physical Kindle? If I could get some pdf files into the system, that would be great.